10 Reasons Why I Must be a Slacker for the Rest of My Life...
10) It keeps me humble....yes, humble...
9) I can read lots of books and become smart, S.M.R.T.
8) It would really piss my parents off...and that is the reason why they had me in the first place! I couldn't do that to do, it would be so selfish of me!
7) I can have more time to work on my tan.
6) My father always says that we must always reach for our goals...so if I achieve all of my goals, then life would have no purpose. We wouldn't want that now, would we?
5) If being inebriated is socially unacceptable and physiologically harmful, then I must maintain the agreed upon rate of alcohol consumption developed in collaboration with my friend, Aiko. 1 drink per 45 minutes (based on our established tolerance levels, ethnicity, height, weight, etc.) will keep us 'happily drunk' and allow us to remain supremely friendly while being keenly observant. This consumption ratio takes a lot of time, time that only a slacker would have.
4) There are so many young Chinese girls whose dream is to become the first female visible minority Prime Minister of Canada...I can't crush their dream and do it myself! THINK OF THE FUTURE PEOPLE...THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
3) Some people may get really jealous of me and I wouldn't want to trigger the ugly side of their personalities...this ugliness revealed might cause some psychological breakdown which could then lead to career stagnation, familial disturbances and overall social disruption.
2) If I earn millions and billions of dollars, shopping wouldn't be as fun because there wouldn't be anything beyond my budget and the fun would be taken out of making irresponsible impulsive purchases. No guilt, no abuse of return policies, or hiding my purchases.
And the #1 reason why I must be a SLACKER for the rest of my life...
1) I can't be constantly mentioned in the media because my last name doesn't add much value to the style and rhythm of journalism. For example, "So said the location is being made possible..." just sounds silly. Check out this article, where this theory is clearly demonstrated, in which my brother was quoted (http://www.thedailytimes.com/sited/story/html/212624) - I'm so proud of my big brother!
9) I can read lots of books and become smart, S.M.R.T.
8) It would really piss my parents off...and that is the reason why they had me in the first place! I couldn't do that to do, it would be so selfish of me!
7) I can have more time to work on my tan.
6) My father always says that we must always reach for our goals...so if I achieve all of my goals, then life would have no purpose. We wouldn't want that now, would we?
5) If being inebriated is socially unacceptable and physiologically harmful, then I must maintain the agreed upon rate of alcohol consumption developed in collaboration with my friend, Aiko. 1 drink per 45 minutes (based on our established tolerance levels, ethnicity, height, weight, etc.) will keep us 'happily drunk' and allow us to remain supremely friendly while being keenly observant. This consumption ratio takes a lot of time, time that only a slacker would have.
4) There are so many young Chinese girls whose dream is to become the first female visible minority Prime Minister of Canada...I can't crush their dream and do it myself! THINK OF THE FUTURE PEOPLE...THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
3) Some people may get really jealous of me and I wouldn't want to trigger the ugly side of their personalities...this ugliness revealed might cause some psychological breakdown which could then lead to career stagnation, familial disturbances and overall social disruption.
2) If I earn millions and billions of dollars, shopping wouldn't be as fun because there wouldn't be anything beyond my budget and the fun would be taken out of making irresponsible impulsive purchases. No guilt, no abuse of return policies, or hiding my purchases.
And the #1 reason why I must be a SLACKER for the rest of my life...
1) I can't be constantly mentioned in the media because my last name doesn't add much value to the style and rhythm of journalism. For example, "So said the location is being made possible..." just sounds silly. Check out this article, where this theory is clearly demonstrated, in which my brother was quoted (http://www.thedailytimes.com/sited/story/html/212624) - I'm so proud of my big brother!
posted by glor at 9:35 p.m.
2 Comments:
Beth! Thank you for understanding the humour...I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes when I read that...my parents didn't understand! When I first read the sentence, I didn't understand it cause I thought there was a something wrong, gramatically. Then I got it...it's my own freakin last name...
Dear Chelsea's mama:
How dare you! Are you calling me hardworking? Don't you remember me at work? Ha ha...
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